How to please your woman...outside of the bedroom

As men, we are macho...we think we are better than we are, we are prideful, arrogant, selfish...but we can be amazing as well. We can be caring, selfLESS, sensitive, attentive, thoughtful and even romantic. However, in order to be these things, we need to LISTEN to what our significant other actually says.

This goes for husbands, serious boyfriends, couples that are dating and even those men preparing for their first date with a lovely female. There is always something that you can do to knock the socks off your significant other. For those married men, knocking her socks off with loving gestures that are a surprise will end up knocking off more than her socks...

Fellas, here is a little FYI for you, just as a point of understanding. Most women aren't going to tell you that you do a great job attending to her needs. However, they are going to tell their friends and especially family. Those ladies that talk to their mother every day are going to sing your praises to her if you are attentive and assertive, great things will be said about you when you aren't around and that is really the ultimate goal here.

All women love surprises. I don't care what they say, they love surprises. They key is to listen, no really, actually listen to the words that they are saying because you will start to hear common themes along the way that will be key indicators to the things she likes. For those men that are in the early stages of relationship or just going on a first date, just start with flowers. All women love flowers and its always viewed as thoughtful. I continually surprised by the amount of women who tell me they have never received flowers from a guy. Early on in the dating relationship, just do it. Nothing crazy...just some flowers.  Go to Costco and buy their bouquet of roses. Simple. Cost-effective and a home-run.

For those fellas that are further along in the relationship status game and maybe even have a commitment across the magical Facebook network...you need to go above and beyond. The Costco bouquets are what you give your significant other on a random Tuesday, just because. To hit a home-run, you need to deliver a pre-arranged bouquet from one of the more expensive delivery floral houses such as Ballard Blossom or City Flowers. These places are expensive, but you get what you pay for and it usually comes back to you later in the evening if you are ahead of the game and you aren't buying her flowers because you made a mistake.

Fellas, don't get intimidated of feel obligated by these suggestions. If that happens, she will know and then the effect is gone. Know your significant other. That is the over-arching theme here. If you know your woman, you will know and understand what makes her tick and what gets her excited. It could be flowers, it could a bottle of wine, it could be a 6-pack of Bud Light, it could be cooking her dinner, it could be as simple as planning a date night or it could just be quality time together - alone.

Know your woman's love language. Read this book and what I am saying will make much more sense. The amazing truth is that the journey is never over. Women are so complex, the good men are constantly trying to understand and uncover new, exciting levels of knowledge and understanding of their woman. That is the fun part. When you care about someone so much that you want to understand the deepest levels of her being and her emotions, that is what becomes exciting.

Finally, as I leave you tonight, one final point. Never underestimate the power of a great mix CD. Our women love music just as much as we do, and sometimes even more. The trick is to learn what type of music she likes and make her a CD of songs that she likes. The true creative aficionado's will plan a date around a mix CD theme. Just some ideas.

The key is really just knowing your woman and understanding her likes. If you pay close attention to her needs, she will pay attention to yours. And finally, you will actually enjoy make her happy. This week, try it out and report back. The modern man wants to know. Enjoy the journey.

Reactions From Augusta

After a long week of incredible golf and both heart-warming stories, and ridiculous stories of a fallen star who was warmly welcomed back between the cleverly coordinated confines of Augusta National and the Masters.

Tiger was welcomed back with open arms by the patrons at Augusta, but his rustiness was clearly evident on the golf course...and as for his new "calmer" demeanor, well...that didn't really last more than a few holes (pardon the pun).

 

Thankfully, the weekend culminated with an actual family man (as far as we know), winning his third green jacket and hugging his wife and children on the 18th green with tears flowing. Jim Nantz and the the rest of the brass at CBS were eating up every minute of it. Thankfully, CBS and NBC weren't covering this event together. As the drama unfolded I could imagine Jim Nantz and Bob Costas fighting for soliloquies and clever adjectives as Phil walked up the 18th fairway.

Phil made shot after amazing shot, never buckling under the pressure of the moment until he embraced his wife who is battling breast cancer. One can only hope that the glory of the story and the family image presented was genuine. It's certainly unfair to assume anything otherwise and the only reason anyone would assume is because of the dirtbag champion we have been reading and watching for five months.

This years Masters champion is a true champion. A champion who loves his wife, stands by her during hard times and genuinely loves his kids. When his wife and mother were diagnosed with breast cancer in the same week, Phil responded by actually taking five months off from golf and caring for his family. He wasn't texting random women, he was by his wife's side and by his mother's side.

Not only is Phil an incredible golfer, he is also by all accounts a great family man. Who doesn't love a story like that? Even Tiger's mistresses have to appreciate that outcome. How can they not want to be Amy Mickelson? Every woman wants and deserves a man who is willing to put his life on hold to care for those close to him.

An amazing tournament ended the way it was supposed to end - with a true champion dawning the green jacket. Phil's holier than though image may actually be a genuine representation of a man who loves his family more than his work and pours 100% of his energy into both and the results are the stuff of storybook dreams.

Zombie Advertising

By now, you all have seen it. The first Nike advertisement with Tiger Woods since Thanksgiving revealed an emotionally, morally, spiritually empty facade of a man. Since then we have seen the headlines, read the reports, watched the contrived press conferences, speculated on how many more are out there and even marveled at his incredible golf ability.

Nike has done something remarkable here. They have the entire country talking about them. Nike is very similar to the software giant in our backyard - Microsoft. Few people really "like" them or give them excessive praise, but everyone uses them, or their software. Nearly everyone has a pair of Nike shoes or some article of Nike clothing. They aren't the most glamorous company, the most by the book company, or the most respectable company, but they are compelling in their advertising.

Nike's new Tiger ad portrays the fallen golfer as a wounded hero. The ad is black and white, showing an emotionless Woods staring straight into the camera with no emotion. Tiger blinks five or six times throughout the 33 second spot, but that is all.

The voice you hear is that of his father Earl Woods. His father who died in 2006 after a bout with cancer. The ad portrays Tiger being lectured by his father asking him if he has learned anything from his carousing. The answer to that question remains to be seen, but his sincerity can certainly be viewed fairly plainly. Since Tiger's orchestrated statement, it was been three months and as of today, he is back on the golf course. It doesn't appear that he has a great concern for his family back home in Florida or Sweden, or wherever they are this week.

The creepiness of the advertisement is palpable. Tiger's deceased father lecturing him or giving him advice while his zombie-like son stares directly into the camera is enough to make even Nike stock-holders squirm.

Take a look for yourself. Listen to Earl. Look into Tiger's eyes and try and see sincerity. Good luck.

Boudoir Beauty

As the flowers begin to bloom and the days grow longer, we are approaching a very important season of the year - that's right - its Wedding Season!!!

Who doesn't love weddings? Well besides the woman who is asked to be IN them, but can't ever find someone that actually wants to wed her. But even then, weddings are fun. The glitz, the glamour, the dress, the tux, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, the pampering, the champagne, the strawberries, photos, video, bouquets, table settings, speeches, the whole experience is great fun. Typically both the bride and the groom feel like stars for a day, but lets face it, the focus is really on the bride - and rightfully so. 

Then there is the wedding night itself. When the cameras are gone and the party has died down. There is that moment of connection between the new husband and wife that can never be forgotten or recreated. The epic ride of emotion and connection makes Disneyland look like your backyard sandbox.

Is there a way for those feelings of passion and glamour to be recreated for both parties? 

Absolutely. 

I am here to tell you how. Ladies who are engaged or married, take what I am about to tell you as an order. Your husband will be extremely thankful. 

Get a boudoir photo shoot done. 

Get your hair done again. Get your makeup done again. Get glammed up and release your inner animal for your husband. If you are engaged, don't give him these pictures until your wedding night. Married women, obviously you can dole out the goods whenever you want.

As good husbands, we don't ever want to leave you, but the reality is that there are times when we have to. Work, travel, whatever. Create something classy and beautiful that we can take with us. 

Ladies, for this operation to a be a complete success, you must hire a photographer that is not only talented but one that makes you feel both comfortable, beautiful and glamorous. I have a few references for you. Contact either Amy Craver-Walton or Andria Lindquist and make this happen. Both are local photographers and both are fantastic at what they do, not to mention fantastic people. Search them on Facebook, check out their websites or shoot them an email. 

Amy Craver-Walton

Andria Lindquist 

Both of these ladies will help you bring back those feelings from your engagement day and your wedding day and you will provide your husband with a host of 'other' feelings as well - all of which he will appreciate. 

Be creative with it, have fun. Use props, multiple outfits and multiple poses. Also, if you have already done this once, don't be afraid to do it again. We will certainly appreciate that as well. As husbands, we love and acknowledge the fact that your beauty as women is vastly superior to ours as men so show it off!! To us only of course, but still. 

Have a great time, let these wonderful photographers help you crack that outer shell you might have and give your husband or husband to be the gift that keeps on giving day after day. 

Scarface School Play

This video surfaced on YouTube this morning and it had me rolling. Hysterical rendition from some elementary school kids. Good work.

The V-Day Trap Door

Ladies, come in real close...listen up...the Modern Man has something that he would like to share with you.

How many of you have X-Boyfriends?? How many of you have X-Boyfriends whom you still wish would be your actual boyfriend? You know who you are. Some of you reading this aren't currently in this situation, but you have certainly been in it before.

You break up, get back together and think THIS time it will be different. THIS time he will change his stripes because he loves me so much and he wants this to work between us...and then...the next break up is even more difficult.

Why does this happen? How can someone say so many great things and then not act on them? All guys must be this way right? Well, no. That is definitely not true. All guys say things that they don't act on, but the guys that we are talking about...you ladies enable their behavior.

Ladies, you need to be emotionally ruthless with these men. You need to tell how it is. If they want to be with you, they need to follow through with their claims. They need to choose you over their friends, they need to think of you before 10pm, they need to let go of their well-known, comfortable convenience.

As we approach Valentines Day this year, if this message resonates with you, beware. Men will say that they hate Valentines Day, and many do. Its a completely commercialized holiday that is in place nearly 100% to benefit the retail industry. Some men however, have a completely different view of Valentines Day. Some use Valentines Day to prey on the weak. Some use Valentines Day to make it look like they are changing their stripes by doing something unexpectedly nice for you. Appealing to your lonely, longing heart. Some of you ladies are allowing them to stick around in your hearts and minds...kick them out.

Boys don't change overnight. Boys become men if they want to become men. They need to understand the value of all that is woman and follow through on their fancy adjectives. When you get flowers or a special card from that former someone this weekend, why not ask him why he sent it to you? See what he says.

The majority of women don't understand their worth. Many allow these users and abusers to make promises and then move on as soon as something they think is better comes along. Women, understand that you are precious and that you are special. Make the men courting you realize that same thing. If those boys earn the affection you hand out, earn the attention, earn the love, earn the recognition then there won't be a need for Valentines Day because they will do something special for you on any random weekday just because they appreciate you.

Relationship Month

It is February 1st, the dreaded/sometimes hated month with Valentines Day smack in the middle of it.

For that reason, the modern man is going to give some insight as best he can into relationships. All facets of relationships. We want to touch on the good, the bad and of course the ugly. Everything from 'All the single ladies', to effective date nights, to drama free relationships, when to call or text, when to give it a rest on the interest, what Godly dating looks like, inside info as to what guys are thinking about you ladies when you are around...and when you aren't. There will also be some guest blogging from trusted sources throughout the month that will give men insight to women's perspective as well. We only need one thing...topics.

Now, there are certainly some juicy ones in the blog reserve bank, but reader suggestions are always encouraged as well. Throw out some topic suggestions and we will be sure to fly through this month with some thought provoking, provocative fodder to keep you glued all through the month of February.

Lets have some fun kids! Give me your suggestions! If you want to email me your topic directly please feel free. Lets have some fun with this people! Happy February!

In The FACE...In The FACE!!

HAHA...gotta love the cop from the Hangover stalking the Hawks new coach before he heads up here to coach the Hawks!

Pete Carroll's Trip to Seattle Delayed from Rob Riggle

25 Most Stylish Men of 2010

The 25 Most Stylish Men in the World list is out here and there are some staples of the trade, but there are some newcomers that I just don't understand. Here is the list of the men...in order of their the votes they have received to this point.

1. Robert Pattinson
2. Johnny Depp
3. Brad Pitt
4. Anderson Cooper
5. Jude Law
6. Tom Brady
7. Davide Beckham 
8. Christiano Ronaldo
9. Ed Westwick 
10. Justin Townes Earle (Country Music Singer)
11. Lebron James
12. Ryan Gosling
13. Ichiro Suzuki
14. Andre Benjamin
15. Clint Eastwood
16. Lapo Elkann (Heir to Fiat)
17. Pharell Williams 
18. Jay-Z
19. Russell Brand
20. Daniel Day-Lewis
21. Paul Simonon (Musician, bassist for Clash)
22. Pete Doherty (Dope head musician)
23. Spike Jonze
24. David Byrne (Musician)
25. L.A. Reid (Island Def Jam CEO)

Ok. I agree with the majority of the list. Love that Ichiro is on there and guys like Lebron, Jay-Z, this Lapo Elkann guy who looks like he has a really tough life. But where is Clooney? Where are classics like Steve McQueen? Arnold Palmer? I mean, I guess I understand leaving them out because we are talking about this year...but still, Clooney should be on there.

The two in the lead here in 2010 as the Most Stylish Men in the World are Robert Pattinson and Johnny Depp. Apparently this year the look is unkempt. Don't shower, don't shave, smoke a lot and wear weird bracelets.

Men, we need to hearken back to the glory days of Hollywood. Get everything dialed in and not look like neurotic, stoned idiot that just rolled out of bed. Get yourself a black suit for starters and plain white oxford dress shirt. Do whatever you want with the tie, but I suggest starting with diagonal stripes, nothing too fancy.

After you have the black suit, go to the grey suit. Same drill. You can divert and get yourself a light blue dress shirt as well if you want to mix it up a bit. Finally, before you start going crazy with Craig Sager pinstripes, get your third staple suit, and that is the khaki suit. Keep it simple and wear either the white or the blue shirt that you already own with it. No need for a tie, unless you really want to add that in. If you do, go with something light colored, pastels preferred.

Don't fall into the culture of the grungy dirt bag. This isn't necessary. Ladies, do you really want this from your men? Pattinson and Depp are different because they are movie stars and can look however they want and still get women, but for the regular man, I say keep it simple and keep it classy.

Facebook PDA

STOP IT!

We have all seen it before. We have seen the notes, the wall postings, the status messages...it all is just too much.

Think of Facebook as a dinner party. If there is something that you would say to your partner at the table in front of your guests, then you can make it a Facebook status. Here's the thing though, unfortunately this doesn't weed out everyone from making ridiculous comments back and forth to each other.

We know that you love each other, really, if you are engaged or married we actually assume that. The Facebook 'Public Display of Affection' is one of the more nauseating things in the social networking space today.

I'm not saying you can't say nice things to your significant other, just knock off the PDA. Common sense people. You can do it. I believe in you! Until you stop, we will continue to grype about it because its just ridiculous. I mean, they make unlimited texting plans for cell phones for a reason. Oh yeah, and there is this thing called personal interaction that the two of you can have. You can actually hang out together, in the same place and you can verbally tell each other how much you love each other or that new tatoo, or new sweater. And the best part of all? We don't have to hear or see it!!

I'm just saying. Think about it before you post your next status message.

Bra-Gate

Sometimes the modern man needs to give way to his better half when she has strong opinions on something. This is one of those times. My beautiful wife Whitney has strong opinions that I support regarding the highly controversial Facebook Bra-Gate as it pertains to breast cancer awareness, the modern family and what it can do to that structure. Check it out below.

Most of you have seen by now the email going around Facebook…"Post your bra color and support breast cancer awareness!". Rumor has it that its supposed to get us all to talk so word is out about breast cancer, some others say the point is to wear a pink bra so everyone’s status would say “pink”. No matter what the point of this exercise is, I don’t see how exactly we are supporting breast cancer. And I believe we have larger problems to come.

First of all, do not think that I am being insensitive towards cancer victims or survivors. My aunt is a breast cancer survivor and my grandpa is a victim of cancer. Almost all of us can relate to cancer personally. There are so many ways out there today to support the specific cause we believe in, and no matter what it is, we should do our due diligence to make sure that our efforts (our money and/or our time) are actually going where they say they are going.

My opinion is that telling the world what color your bra is isn’t an appropriate way of raising money or awareness for breast cancer. Yeah, it got people talking about how this is breast cancer awareness month, but you know what else it did? It got plenty of men thinking about what bra “that” girl is wearing and once you start thinking about the bra why not think about the panties? Her shirt is already off, her pants might as well be too. When women start virtually stripping over the internet, it’s not as long of a fall as you might think before it becomes more dangerous.
I am sure many of you think I am making a large leap from bra color to internet pornography, but it is a prime example of where our culture is headed today. Something not so innocent becomes something normal a few years later. We all know that men are physical, visual beings. Just like women can’t help that they are emotional, men can’t help that they are physical. 47% of families say pornography is an issue in their house. If you think your house is immune to it, you’re wrong.

While most men can hear about their wife’s best friend’s bra color and not dwell on it, some cannot. Some men don’t have the strength to put it out of sight, out of mind. Some men have a real issue with pornography, and the internet makes it that much easier to obtain. I don’t think most men start their addiction by calling up a hooker and going hard-core. They start is by seeing something simple, something fairly innocent on the internet that peaks their interest, that keeps coming back into their head to make them wonder, what if there’s more out there? If her bra color is red, is she wearing matching panties? I wonder how they look in person? Personally, I only want my husband thinking about me in that way.

As for me and my house, I believe in doing everything in my power to protect the sanctity of our marriage. Even Matt is not immune to pornography. If it was in front of his face everyday, I wouldn’t blame him for going back to it. It takes effort from all of us to protect our families from the growing grasp of pornography. 57% of pastors say pornography addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregations. Yes, the majority of men are probably strong enough to not let a little Facebook gimmick get to them, but what if one isn’t? I would hope that I would never contribute to even one man slipping and becoming gripped by the prison of pornography.

Statistics from www.safefamilies.org

The Bet

With every new year comes a clean slate and a fresh list of goals and opportunities. This year is certainly different for me than any year that I have ever encountered before.

I am a newly minted married man so now I have this interesting dichotomy with my New Years Resolutions or any goals that I create because I have double input now on everything. Its not a bad thing, its just one of the many adjustments that come with marriage.

One of the other interesting nuances of marriage is that sometimes goals are suggested by the other person. This is when things get really interesting. One of these exciting situations occured over the Christmas holiday. My wife is always in tip-top shape physically and that has not necessarily one of my strong points post college. SO...naturally, she proposes a friendly wager...

On February 25th we fly down to Arizona to visit my family. That is roughly two months away. My wife bet me that I can't lose 15 pounds by that time. She bet me that I cannot lose the weight. Again, that I can NOT lose the weight. Maybe that shows a lack of confidence, maybe it is her form of motivation, I am still new at this so I am trying to figure it out.

There are doubts in her mind, but hopefully as we close in on D-Day she will come around. The goal here is to lose the weight the right way and keep it off for the year, changing my habits and then immediately buying myself some different jeans. I will keep you all updated on the goings ons each day as we count down toward Feb. 25th.

Tonight I stepped on the scale under strict supervision. I weighed in at 290. Awesome. So, to win the bet I need to drop down to 275 in 48 days. Mark your calendars and follow the updates! I feel like I'm on the Biggest Loser, but that's whatever.

To win this wager I had to turn to a good friend to give me some sustainable weight loss tips.  A good friend name Mike Sorrentino, better known as the 'The Situation' from the greatest reality show of all time 'The Jersey Shore'. 2010 and about creating my own situation and who better to help me than 'The Situation' himself?

He is very wise and will help me be victorious! Stay Tuned!

Jersey Shore - MTV Shows

The Resolutions

Its that time of the year again...January. Its time for the gyms to be packed full, and the alarm clocks are set super early, budgets are made, goals are set and people get off the coach and do their best to make THIS year, the greatest ever.

Typically by March, there is parking at the gym again, the snooze button gets pushed, and THIS year turns into just another. That is typically what happens. It doesn't always have to, but it typically does. The key is setting reasonable goals at the beginning of the year. Goals that you can attain, goals that can make you feel good about the progress made.

What are your goals this year? What are your goals for 2010? Moving up at work? Losing a certain amount of weight? Making a certain amount of money? Think over some of your goals and the realism behind each of those goals. Make realistic ones and stay motivated.

I'm not trying to sound like a personal trainer or something, just trying to put the resolutions in perspective. I have some fairly typical resolutions. They primarily have to do with setting my family up for success in the next year and beyond.  Being the type of man that I am called to be. And that is no easy task. The modern man needs to set goals, and fulfill them. If he doesn't, his family suffers. If his family suffers, then that is not good.

The modern family man needs to do everything possible to keep family at the forefront of his resolutions. For all those family men out there, keep this in mind when making some resoltions this year. Its great to have resulotions and to share them with your wife, but don't make ridiculous ones because you will just get discouraged. Most of you won't make a million dollars this year, so don't make that a resolution. Set some goals with your significant other and you all of a sudden have someone to encourage you along your journey to fulfilling those numerous resolutions that you have set for 2010.

Tiger's Road to Recovery

Much more on my opinions regarding this topic later, but here is a start. Can I get Tiger to follow my blog??

Ultimate Douchebaggery

Tiger Woods just continues to amaze me. I mean, who the hell is running his PR campaign?? This is just ridiculous. The golfer is featured on the latest issue of Vanity Fair...but he looks like a complete sociopath.

I bet Tiger and A-Rod hang out. This is just too much. As if 14 mistresses wasn't enough, he thinks it is a good idea to come out with this photospread. Someone needs to put Tiger in his cage. What is next???

Who thinks this is good for Tiger's image?? Plus, who the hell lifts weights with a beanie on?